I finally made my way out of my business partner, Ana Paula's, house today. It is always bitter sweet as I love being around families (and home cooked meals), but I'm ready to be back in my own bed. And it is always an extra treat being with AP, as she is Brazilian. The Brazilian lifestyle is ever present in her daily life as we sip tea and drink coffee throughout the day, sharing endless stories, checking our emails, planning business strategies, napping and chatting with whoever shows up as we move from the kitchen to the den to the garden and back into the kitchen again.
I moved slowly out of her house into our loft/office space where we held a peer review for the doula's in our agency. I went to the peer review, doing the Florida shuffle as I progressed, not because I 'have to', but because I want to. I'm a self proclaimed birth junky! Sharing stories and supporting each other feeds my soul! That's a picture some of us today goofing around.
I've started taking my anti-biotics and am tired, as I can feel my white blood cells decline. I am also having more neuropathy, but I know that if I rest and get more sleep then the tingling and sharp jabbing electrical bolts will ease up (at least that is what happened before round 3). I am walking slowly, I have to take big breaths and I'm having these funny sensations in my nose when I breath in because I no longer have nose hairs! And I looked!! it is so very strange. It is like breathing in New York City air on a crisp fall morning. The difference is, in New York you can choose to go inside and warm up, getting away from the light tingling sensation. I can't. Again, no one told me about this loss either!
And all I can do is sit here and laugh.
This is so ridiculous!
I am just gonna have to get used to my precious air warming/filter system - which I admit I had never appreciated before - being offically GONE! and there is nothing to be done until they grow back! Not a thing! Anyways, I have more important things to do... like watch another movie!
Alright, I guess I'll just add this one to my ever growing list of my new state of 'normalcy'.
Whatever!
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5 comments:
You look radiant, Elizabeth. I'm so sorry you are not always feeling that way..
Thank you for this amazing blog. I had no idea just how hard this was...I mean, I knew it wasn't fun... but I had no idea just how brutal each step of healing could be. you are inspirational.
Much love and strength..
nose hairs. . .who would believe what an important role they bring? thank you, thank you for sharing your story and inspiring an evolving sense of gratitude within myself. you are an amazing teacher for us all.
Wow, wow and wow!!! Girl, you truly have a way with the pen...I mean keypad! Thank you for sharing your blog. I've always known that you're a woman of many gifts, so it doesn't surprise me to see you are a gifted writer too!
I read every single one of your entries, since the very beginning. It was 6 hrs well spent...looking into the window of your cancer journey and getting to know the Bachner angel network...your support team (Rachie, Bryan, Rima, Pearl, Gus, Sufi, Ana Paula, colleagues, Dr G, etc...). It's such a comfort to me, knowing you have so many people around you in LA to help you through this difficult time.
You look so beautiful without your hair! Truly, I mean it. The loopy earings against your long neck is simply elegant. And that yellow cap, is so YOU. Great look!
Keep listening to your inner voice, your body and keep the faith (and humor)...that it'll all work out, like Pearl said in her video, the day you told her.
You are a force to be reconned with Elizabeth Ann Bachner, and don't you forget it.
I love you very much dear friend & I'm so blessed to have you in my life. xxoo
Those doulas look scary. Don't hang with them too much!!
Oh and people are not to know about our Brazilian work sessions!!
I miss those kitchen days.
Going to the office is fun but those were good times.
We will do that without the chemo just with the medicines!!!
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