Insult to Injury

Now I get why everyone says, "be strong". There is something that happens in the breaking down/beating up process of chemo that makes me not want to help myself.

For example, for the past 2 rounds I have been really diligent on eating a raw diet with lots of yogurt, Kombucha and Bee Pollen to make sure I do not contribute to the acid in my stomache - (raw foods neutralize/alkaline the body). Processed or cook food makes a body acidic, which is not helpful when there is acid there from toxins. (also the Kombucha and Bee Pollen has Vit B's which are said to be good for the acid too).

But for some strange reason that normal voice of strength became a faint echo in my head.

In the past, I craved apples. This time I was almost too apathetic to care - apples, soup, toast... who cared? Well, my belly did.

Within half and hour of eating cooked food, I'd lie in bed feeling the pain of the acid accumulating in my stomache with me trying to decide if the food would stay down or come out. Sometimes I took a drug to avoid the question, other times it came out and I felt MUCH better.

Finally, last night at 10pm, after realizing that getting a perscription for medications was not going to happen until the morning, I went back to listening to very loud yet distant voice inside.

One Kombucha drink and peeled apple later.... I was fine! So fine, that I just stuck to raw foods all night and today... papaya, apples, tea.. and felt so much better that I had a small piece of a home made croissant...BAD idea!! I can feel the acid playing up again. Not so bad that I'm gonna vomit, but bad enough to remind me I need to be strong and exercize my healthy eating muscle if I want to get through this without acid in my throat.

It is amazing to me how well and how loud the body is at communicating.

Oh, and now that I am feeling better and able to socialize and talk and eat.... my body feels like it has been run over by a mac truck (bone pain from the white blood cells remaking themselves), the tongue is back with it's groydee coyotee thick yellow/brown toxic coat that tastes nasty, my nose and skin feel like it is drying up (I literally felt it shrivel when I took the Marinol) and I'm having more neuropathy.

Oh Joy. Can't a chemo patient get a break?