Round 3 of Chemo

Eck. I'm not feeling poetic or particularlly in the mood to write.

I switched my chemo to Tuesday night because I have an engagement on Saturday I really want to attend. I'm hoping, I'm even praying that I'm back in my body by then.

I've had a long, fulfilling day craming in all I can while I feel good before I go down for the count, again. (sigh). God, it was such a great day, and now I have to go back down to the gates of hell and give up yet another belief, let go of yet another piece I am holding onto while I navigate hell for 2 days. This is SO not fair. (bitch moan bitch moan bitch moan).

Chemo is at 11pm. It is kinda nice that there is nobody at cedars. Sufi is with me (of course). We go to a private room to sleep. That is a picture of Sufi sleeping next to me.

We don't do the hawks this time. This time we do blue orbs with a message for my soul.

This round has a lot of apathy around it. Blue orbs. Smoo orbs. Chemo. Sleep. Who cares. Who the hell cares.

I certainly don't in this moment.