As Below, So Above

It has officially begun, the loosing of the hair. What people don't tell you - or maybe it is just me - is the pubic hair is the first to go. It is a bit disconcerting at first. I'm looking at the toilet paper with a "What the hell is going on?" ... and then I remind myself, "You are having chemo. It is normal for the hair to go."

But I am not ready for the hair on my head to go. I am attached to it. I admit it. Have you seen the photos? It is good hair.

The "plan" is to do a fun Ceremony with Rima and all the cousins. Cut the hair off for Locks For Love (I debated if I wanted to make a wig out of my own hair, but when I let it go, I just want it gone) then do a photo shoot of all the punk rock haircuts I have ever thought or dreamed - with color that I never had the guts to do on the way down to nothing with all the kids around me!! Gus even wants to get his head shaved with me to show his support!

I could have done the ceremony last sunday, but I opted out, I wasn't ready emotionally. I wanted one more week.

So, here we are, Tuesday, and I have become all paranoid and have stopped washing my hair, as I don't want to be 'that person' whose hair all falls out in the shower. That would just do me in.

On the bright side, I did epilady my hair on my legs for what I believe to be the last time!! (yes, I do still use the epilady. It is much more efficient than shaving.). I'm having wishful thinking that pulling my hair out from the roots combined with chemo will make the hair permanently gone!! :) A girl can dream.... can't she??? :)

Once again, I'm testing the theory of 'my plans' versus 'God's plan'. Who will win??? Hmmm, why does there have to be a winner and a loser with this way of thinking? There must be a different way to look at this.....