Huh? What?

My OB/GYN called to confirm that the biopsy came back positive for cancer. They still need to confirm the kind and stage, but yes, I have breast cancer and it is in my lymph node.

"I have breast cancer." I say to myself as I drive to check the belly of a pregnant mom.

"Don't you know that plastic water bottles can cause cancer?" I want to scream at the guy behind the counter as he hands me my soup and bottled water.

"I have cancer." I rehearse in my head as I buy my new iphone.

"Fuck, it is in my lymph glands. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." as I prepare myself for a post partum meeting with clients.

The strange part is that I am the exact same person I was two days ago, but now I have been diagnosed with cancer. I can't cancel any of my client appointments, because if I do, when will I see them? It isn't like the cancer is gonna disappear and my schedule will free itself up.

So I move forward with my day. Checking things off my 'to do' list... coming to terms with the fact that I have cancer... Scheduling more doctor appointments...

As soon as my OB/GYN and I found out I had cancer she put a call into the popular Breast Surgeon Dr. Kristi Funk. They could not give me an appointment until the 25th, 12 days from now. That was just not gonna do. Now that I knew I had cancer I wanted chemo in me ASAP!!! I can hear within me this strange urgency of "Cut it out now!" "Burn the fuckers up with the chemo!" "Now, Now, NOW!!!"

So, I calmly ask the receptionist, "Can you put me on a wait list and call me if there is a cancellation?" Strangely enough she called me back 20 minutes later, "So, I just got a cancellation for a new patient visit for the next time she is in the office. Do you want it?".

This was to be the beginning of what my friend Sufi calls the "Red Carpet Treatment" of synchronicities that constantly remind me that even with cancer, I am divinely guided.