Telling the Kids - And my very own PSA!

I consider myself very fortunate to have created such and exceptional life for myself in Los Angeles. I don't just have great clients and friends, but I am surrounded by people who love me the way that I am. And even when I have crazy and outrageous ways of viewing the world, they don't judge me, but rather look at me in wonderment and laugh with me.

Among my close circle is Rima. On paper, there isn't a whole lot that we have in common, but in the heart she is "The sister I have chosen for myself". We have one of those relationships that you don't question but enjoy, knowing that we would each be there for each other in a heartbeat - It is just that one does not think the last phrase will ever have to be tested out, as cancer was not on the radar!

When I first moved to LA Rima took me into her family. I love her two children Pearl and Gus like my own.... not in some creepy 'single white female' kinda way, but in the way that I am filled with gratitude that they are in my life!! When I come home from a birth, my number one place to be is having tea with Rima while hugging one of the kids. Good luck trying to find me on a Sunday, because I am usually at Rima's enjoying a home cooked meal, great wine and excellent conversation with the extended family as the cousin's run around laughing. I love being around her family so much that I encourage Rima and her husband to go away for the night so the kids and I can have a sleepover! Their family grounds me.

So, as you can imagine, telling the kids was not easy. In fact, next to telling my family, this was the hardest one. When we told the kids, Rima and I encouraged them not to isolate, to be with the two of us while they named what they are feeling and to ask me any questions they wanted to.

What is so interesting to me is that Pearl and Gus are part of a generation that does not know Cancer as a death sentence.

When I was growing up my friend's mom had Breast Cancer. I remember the long days 'visiting' at her house. Her mom was upstairs in bed and we would be downstairs trying to be teenagers. No body took the time to explain to me what was going on and nobody ever talked about what was right in front of us. Back then "Cancer" was spelled with a capital "C" and wispered. Every once in a while we would go upstairs to say "Hi" too her mom and I remember seeing a version of her mother all swollen and red. And then her mother died. Coz back then, that is what happened. You had cancer and you died. Nowadays, that is so NOT true.

The good thing is that Pearl and Gus have already been through this with another 'mommy' friend in our community. For them, Breast Cancer means a loss of hair, times of being sick for a long bit and in the end of the journey: wellness. In fact, Pearl has already done a 'Walk' for breast cancer. Cancer is not something that is wispered, it is talked about, it is shared, there is no shame associated with it.

As we were sitting with the kids processing this new information, Pearl took off on her own. Granted, we were very careful to make sure she was not isolating her self with the information, and also wanted to honor her need for space. When Pearl came back to the living room, she dragged all of us over to my computer to show us what she created with the new information about my life. Rima and I were BLOWN away with the video Pearl made, as I'm sure you will be too. She hit the nail on the head, and I now have my very own Public Service Announcement!


After we told the kids we head out to the Ocean to do a big evening swim. We all ran like naked chickens into the Pacific: body surfing, laughing, getting pummeled by the waves, letting ourselves be cleansed by the water.... I felt so good I turned to Rima and announced, "Cancer has no idea who they are takin' on!! Cancer picked the wrong person, coz cancer is goin' down!" For the first time in days I actually ate a full on proper meal. I felt like I was turning the corner and felt centered once again.

It didn't take long for the kids to integrate everything. In fact, the next day we headed out to the farmer's market. While there Pearl and I bought a whole bunch of goodies, and with each purchase she handed me the bags. As usual, I was getting overloaded with purchases and my hands hurt!! So, I turned to Pearl and pulled "the cancer card"....

"Pearl, stop giving me all the bags! Don't you know, I have cancer!"

Pearl stopped and looked at me all serious, "Yeah, you do Ezbeth, but you don't have it in your hands!"

YES!! Ten Points for Pearl! Pearl gets it! She is so with the humour program!

We both had a good giggle and proceeded to get on with life as it truly is... me, as a 39 years old with cancer, and her as a 10 year old who is 10.

Life is good!